We're all used to hearing "Mind the gap" when we're taking the tube.
Imagine Michael's surprise this morning when he was on the Northern Line and this (slightly paraphrased) message came over the loudspeaker just before Moorfields:
"We apologize to all passengers but this service is now terminated because of an incident in the first carriage involving bodily fluids. Alight here and wait for the next train."
As Michael and the man standing next to him agreed, they could count themselves lucky that they weren't in that first carriage.